Sleepless

I'm sleepless. I can't sleep. I'm trying to stay away from my bed as long as possible even though I know sooner or later, I'll have to meet it. I don't want to sleep. I've been watching "Lost in Translation" again. It's amazing, that film. I've been wondering how do moviemakers piece together 90 minutes of film, to tell a story. I'm scared that I can't do it myself in mine for 10 minutes, let alone 90. That film is so surreal it's so good. Everybody identifies with it, I'm sure, at some point of time in their lives.

I guess mine has been for the last decade. I've been stuck on statis wondering what I'm supposed to be doing while time, people, and events have passed me by. I've aged, I've experienced some things. Some for the better, and those for the worse, I hope I learn from them. I still don't understand what and why I'm doing in Germany for the most part. I understand the language, but I do know I don't want to work there. I want a place that speaks english, and a level of comfort. Maybe I'm happy I'm going to move to the UK next year. At least there's some semblence of familiarity there if not just for the language. I've been lost for 5 years here and I am desperate to find myself, whereever the disparate parts of me are.