Insomniacs R Us

I'm an insomniac. I hate to admit it, but the way it goes, it seems to be that way. I can't get to sleep until I really force myself to. I'm not sure if everyone feels exactly the same way I do, but until I feel that I've done "something" of worth in the course of the day, I can't get to sleep. Otherwise the day would have just been a waste. You know the feeling, that nagging feeling that something is missing that you've left out. Something that needs to be done, but you've no idea what it is. It gnaws at you from the inside of your brain, asking to be let out.

Maybe it's me pushing myself on when I should be resting, maybe it's me unconsciously being a rebel to the normal conventions of what "should be" and what "could be". I'm trying to undust my thinking cap and starting to write down my dreams again. For 10 years I've kept them locked up, for 10 years I've kept them closed in a cupboard because I never believed or expected or didn't even know how I would get to them. Suddenly the door is open, just a little, but at least it's opened and the way might be cloudy, but at least there's a way at last.

I should comfort myself in the knowledge that no matter what happens, I'm at least moving forward than remaining in stasis. Then I won't regret what I didn't do. Tomorrow the plan is to go shopping in Köln and hopefully I'll buy wifey some nice things to wear. And then catch Marie Antoinette at the movies. I like Sofia Coppola's works and I'm hoping that this will be as good as Lost in Translation. Right, now that I've done something that's been on my mind, I'll try to get to sleep.