It all started with a drop

Today was an eventful day in an otherwise so-far uneventful life.

I believe I finally managed to leave the past behind. I think it's good that I can move on from here.

I'm referring to my work situation. Business has grown and prospered. I've earned money that I could consider happy with. Yet, somehow more money has not made me happy. More job responsibility has not made me happy. It's paradoxical that sometimes the things you want for most in life are suddenly the things that hold you from your dream. For most parts of my life, all I wanted was money enough to be happy with, to be content, and maybe afford me some luxuries or two or three. I can't say I've been disappointed. I thought maybe taking something from scratch and making it good would be satisfying, but it turns out not to be the case.

It's weird. Hollow, even.

I got upset with some of my colleagues at work for trying to take my job from me. On one side it turns out I wasn't ready to let it go. On the other, yes they were after my job. But the job was empty. Boring. Hell I surf the net most of the time when I'm at work. What I'm about to say next might be strange for some of you. But I guess it's something I knew I'd had to face one day.

I had to let go of my job. Drop it out the window and do something that deep inside was yearning to be done. I love fashion, I love art, I love creativity and spontanaeity. However, I know I'm not good enough to design my own clothes, make my own perfume, compose my own music, draw my own Mona Lisa etc - last point is debatable because modern art nowadays could be made by a blind teddy bear with 2 stubs for hands and legs chopped off at the knees. But I knew I wanted to do stuff in the film industry. Where specifically, I have no idea.

After some tough questions by some close associates, I was left doubting my decision. I think everyone has those times when you wonder - Did I make the right decision?. I did what I think anyone in my position would do.

Being a christian, we're taught that God should be our first port of call and not our last resort. However with me, last resort is an understatement. The last thing I ever want to do is be stuck working in a church. As much as I love music and art but to be pigeonholed and shelved into a church. That to me is harsh.

Anyhow, I decided in such a case, God should have the final say. Cheesy you say. Last last last last resort and then some I say. I clicked on Google. I keyed in "Random Bible Verses". This is akin to taking a bible flipping it, putting a finger on a verse and reading it. Not advised for everyday life. Use only in DESPERATE emergencies. I just said something under my breath like "I want some confirmations, not one, not two but enough to know I'm making the right decision."

*click* First verse.

Proverbs 29:25

The fear of man brings a snare,
But whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.

I couldn't really believe my eyes.

*click* Second verse

Galatians 1:10

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

*click* Third verse

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

*click* Fourth Verse

Philippians 1:29

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,

*click* Fifth Verse

Psalms 30:5

For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.

I then asked for 1 final verse.

*click* Sixth Verse

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

It's really like the story of my life, the last verse. When will what I desire for come to pass? I really have no idea. But 6 clicks. 6 verses that spoke to me. Out of so many out there. Some might be cynical some might say it's luck. One thing I do know though, with God there is no luck. I guess I wasn't ready before then to start this next step in my life. I have no complaints about it, just that I tended to get way impatient.

I just noticed something beautiful. If I took the verses out and put them one after the other, I would get this :

"The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.
For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."

When the Bible speaks, man does it speak. All I can say is after the messes I have had in my life, God is still gracious.

So I'm off to check out my film school tomorrow night in the UK. Everything should work out fine with the flights and accommodation.

I plan to take a 2 hour drive to Oxford, and then attend the open house the next day.

And yes, I plan to take my camera and take lots of pictures.

Next Stop : Oxford - City of a thousand Spires. I can't wait.