Fear

I'm afraid. That's why I don't like going to bed too early. In case I might miss something. I'm afraid for almost every positive, there's sure to be some negative creeping about in my mind. I can't sleep because the fear eats me out from within. Telling me in its little voice that I'll never be what I want to be before I grow old.

I hate living in fear of the unknown. Fear of the future, whether be it one second or one year. Fear of not knowing what the next action will bring. I wish I could shut my brain down - thinking - for a moment to enjoy peaceful serene bliss.

Peace in my mind. It's what I'm seriously longing for. Against all the naysayers my own mind has put up against me. I am my own worst enemy, paralytic to the core. I want to move, but my body disobeys me. My heart fails for fear has gripped it tight. To live like that, beyond a nightmare in existence.

There will always be challenges. I just didn't expect it to be this hard sometimes.
We face our own fights, and fight them we must. I picked my road to walk. It's a strange road. Life is a journey, they all say. Maybe no one has walked mine yet. I've got to walk it myself. I can't walk the journey for someone else. Only they can do it. My path is special as is theirs.

And though I fear, walk I must.