My Hands
The point of no return.
No idea when I'd hit that stage. I guess not many people do either. I've taken stock of what I've done so far and it kind of amounts to - nada zip zilch. Intrinsic to every person, I believe is a desire to want to be counted for something by someone, whether be it significant, or not so significant. But something, nonetheless. Be it a kind word, encouragement, perhaps a foundation for someone's future.
I don't know but I'm looking at myself at the moment. And what do I see?
Not much. No, not much at all. Strange that I used to be forced into a structured life, and hating it. And now into a formless life, and not really enjoying it. Difficult? Maybe. Crazy? Probably. I don't know. I guess once anyone hits a point and looks into their hands and wonders "What can I do? I don't have anything much to offer" it kinds of spirals into self doubt and despair.
I'm not one for instant miracles, to tell the truth. Sometimes you hope, and you wonder, and then you doubt and then you forget. Like the passing of time. Ashes.
Still, miracles are often written down so that we do not forget.
What's a miracle? Something amazing? Out of this world? Or just something simple, that brings a smile to your everyday life? I've no clue. I guess the definition of the word is subject to your circumstance.
So, looking at my hands. What do I have. 2 hands, 10 fingers, and I must develop the will to choose to apply them to my situation. Something sorely lacking.
I hated structure, and loved the unpredictability of life. Now I find that I need to return to that structure within the whirlwind that is life before I can be unpredictable.
They always said in film school, learn the rules and know them, then you'll know how to break them. Seems like I always wanted to get ahead of myself and break them without knowing them.
Basic fundamentals.
I'm probably rambling, but that's ok since this is my blog and I write for my peace of mind and not anyone elses'.
I've got 2 hands, and some knowledge. I have some projects I'm working on. I don't know if they'll bear fruit in the future and provide a return, but then again, if I don't try, I really won't know.
No idea when I'd hit that stage. I guess not many people do either. I've taken stock of what I've done so far and it kind of amounts to - nada zip zilch. Intrinsic to every person, I believe is a desire to want to be counted for something by someone, whether be it significant, or not so significant. But something, nonetheless. Be it a kind word, encouragement, perhaps a foundation for someone's future.
I don't know but I'm looking at myself at the moment. And what do I see?
Not much. No, not much at all. Strange that I used to be forced into a structured life, and hating it. And now into a formless life, and not really enjoying it. Difficult? Maybe. Crazy? Probably. I don't know. I guess once anyone hits a point and looks into their hands and wonders "What can I do? I don't have anything much to offer" it kinds of spirals into self doubt and despair.
I'm not one for instant miracles, to tell the truth. Sometimes you hope, and you wonder, and then you doubt and then you forget. Like the passing of time. Ashes.
Still, miracles are often written down so that we do not forget.
What's a miracle? Something amazing? Out of this world? Or just something simple, that brings a smile to your everyday life? I've no clue. I guess the definition of the word is subject to your circumstance.
So, looking at my hands. What do I have. 2 hands, 10 fingers, and I must develop the will to choose to apply them to my situation. Something sorely lacking.
I hated structure, and loved the unpredictability of life. Now I find that I need to return to that structure within the whirlwind that is life before I can be unpredictable.
They always said in film school, learn the rules and know them, then you'll know how to break them. Seems like I always wanted to get ahead of myself and break them without knowing them.
Basic fundamentals.
I'm probably rambling, but that's ok since this is my blog and I write for my peace of mind and not anyone elses'.
I've got 2 hands, and some knowledge. I have some projects I'm working on. I don't know if they'll bear fruit in the future and provide a return, but then again, if I don't try, I really won't know.
posted by Dippers at 6:45 PM
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