My Loft

I'm staring out the skylight window of the loft my room is in right out into the open night sky. Nothing much else but darkness and a smattering of stars across the night sky stare back at me. I've always wanted to sleep and be in a loft-apartment ever since I experienced being in one during my university days in the UK.

It's got a strange feel to it. I dare say, maybe even a strange freedom to open the window up top, and gaze out not just at the surroundings, but the sky as well. I feel like I don't have a ceiling that constrains me, my dreams and goals, but that given the right time, right place and right situation, could go all the way up to outer space.

I guess loft apartments are for dreamers. And I love them.

Now that I'm house-hunting, I guess I'll make sure that the place definitely has on the top list - a great loft - so that I can just park myself and decorate my little cave with all the techno-gadgets till it's just right.

A flat-screen TV there, an Xbox 360 here, wifi hub around the corner, and various other doodads which fill up my life. But best of all, lying on my mattress at night, looking up at the starlit sky before falling off to blissful sleep.

Today

Today...........

3 flies died.

I cycled almost 2 laps round the fields. Would have been a complete 2 laps but decided that lightning and me do not mix well together.

I made a bowl of half-asian vegetable fishball tofu soup.

And I decided that in order to find my own voice I had to let go of the fear of people. What do people think of me? Screw it. If I'm too busy caught up in fear, I'll never get anything done being trapped in people's expectations. One's expectations should only come from oneself - ie. myself and no one else.

If you dream, then it's just thin air.

The journy of making the dream a reality is a never-ending process of practice, trial and error, disappointment, heartbreak, and whatever painful thing you can put here. Sure there'll be joyful times along the way but be certain it won't be easy.

After all, if it would be easy it wouldn't be a dream now would it?

And that's pretty much it.